


Spoilers: She's Gay

by StudentOfEtherium



Series: Kanbaru talking to other gay Monogatari girls [2]
Category: Bakemonogatari
Genre: Bisexual Character, Blushing, Canon Gay Character, Dumbass gay, Gay, Gen, Internalized Biphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 03:10:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17593499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StudentOfEtherium/pseuds/StudentOfEtherium
Summary: Karen gets to meet her idol, Kanbaru, and has some, new, feelings.





	Spoilers: She's Gay

Karen was nervous. She was finally meeting her idol, Suruga Kanbaru, the one she looked up to more than anyone else!

She could barely contain her excitement.

They were walking around Kanbaru's house, somewhat aimlessly, making small talk.

“I never tried karate. What's it like?”

Karen panicked.

*She doesn't know? I have to explain it to her? Oh god oh god oh god*

“It's just like any sport, except punching! It's hard work, but I think it's well worth it!”

Kanbaru smiled and laughed a little.

“It sounds cool.”

Karen blushed.

*Wait why am I blushing?*

“Here's my room.”

Kanbaru gestured.

“It's a little messy, but I hope you can manage.”

“It's fine.”

Kanbaru cleared away some debris near the door and they made their way into the room.

There were books and clothes scattered everywhere.

“Uh.”

*What do I say? How do I talk to her? What does she like?*

“So. Books.”

*Fuck. Why did I try using that as a segue? That's so dumb agh.*

“I like books.”

There was a pause.

Karen panicked.

*This is going terribly. She's going to hate me after this. Why am I like this?*

“It's a bit stuffy in here. Do you mind if I take off my shirt?”

Karen froze.

*!?!*!€!£|!*

“Uh… Um… Auh…”

Karen stammered.

“I wouldn't have a problem with that!”

Kanbaru cocked her head to the side, and laughed.

*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY AM I LIKE THIS*

Kanbaru took off her shirt and threw it in a large pile across the room.

“So, what do we talk about now?”

Karen could barely think.

She started blushing.

*Why am I like this?*

“Uh.”

“Oh! I know! We can talk about Araragi! I'm sure you have a lot of stories about him.”

Karen nodded, clearly not paying attention to what she said.

Kanbaru got up.

“You know what? It's hot. I should get us some drinks.”

She left the room.

As soon as she stepped out, Karen breathed. She hadn't even noticed she was holding her breath.

*Why am I feeling like this?*

*Am I gay?*

*I've seen girls naked before, Tsukihi everyday, and all the girls at the gym. I'm not unfamiliar with other girls’ bodies, I know I'm not gay. And anyway, I like boys, so I can't be gay*

Karen stood up and started pacing.

*Even if I was gay, I only just met her. I mean, I've known about her for a long time, I've followed her career, but I didn't know her. So it can't be love.*

*Love at first sight is a thing, but that's not the case here, because this isn't love. And we just met. So it can't be love.*

*And again, I like boys. Boys, not girls. I'm not gay!*

*Why would I even leap to thinking I’m gay. That’s unreasonable, I’m just not thinking straight.*

She sat down again.

“Even if I was gay, Kanbaru isn't. She's had a boyfriend? Hasn't she? Or was it that she never takes romantic partners? Either way,  even if I was gay, I wouldn't have a chance. But I'm not gay, so it isn't worth thinking about.*

Kanbaru re-entered the room, this time carrying a tray with a couple of cups of water, a pitcher, and a bowl of chips. She put the tray on the ground and closed the door. She walked to the other side of the room and opened the door to the outside.

Karen started blushing harder.

“Nice day out today, isn't it?”

Karen nodded meekly.

She grabbed a cup and started drinking.

“Araragi’s talked about you before, when he was over. You’ve always sounded really cool!.”

Karen choked.

*ildfuosgbh*

“I’ve wanted to meet you for a while now! I’m glad Araragi gave us this opportunity.”

Karen camly put down her cup.

*Okay. Okay*

She took a deep breath.

Kanbaru glanced over.

*I’ve looked up to her for years now. I’m sure I’m just flustered over meeting my idol. That’s gotta be it. A much more reasonable solution than me falling in love with her at first sight.*

They sat in silence for a while, Karen mulling over her thoughts.

Eventually, Kanbaru spoke up.

“So…”

Karen looked up.

“I think I get what’s going on here.”

Karen felt like death.

*Oh no. She hates me. She thinks I love her and that I’m a freak and-*

“I’ve been there before. I know what this is like.”

“Waitwhat.”

“I’m gay. And so are you.”

“No I’m not!”

“Karen, trust me here. It’s been obvious since we stepped inside. I’ve been in your shoes before. I know what you’re feeling.”

“But I like boys!”

Kanbaru laughed.

“Okay, so I don’t know all of what you’re feeling. But liking boys and liking girls aren’t mutually exclusive.

“...”

“Being gay is cool. Liking girls is cool.”

“...”

“...Would you prefer if I put my shirt back on?”

Karen nodded.

“That was probably mean of me to do in the first place. Sorry about that.”

Kanbaru walked over to the pile and picked her shirt up.

“Anyway, yeah. Gay.”

“Gay…”

Karen was still overwhelmed.

There was another silence. 

*I'm gay??? I like girls? I think I like Kanbaru, but like, love? Gay?*

“I-”

Karen struggled to talk. 

“I like girls?”

“Probably, yeah.”

Karen stammered, failing to say any real words.

“It's fine, this can be a lot to deal with at first.”

Kanbaru stood up.

“You wanna run and talk? It might help clear your mind.”

“Sure.”

The two got up and walked to the gate.

They started jogging.

“Well, I guess the place to start is,-”

*Should I really? That's so forward! What if she says no?*

“Do I have a chance?”

“With me?” Well, you are my type~”

Karen tripped. 

*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Kanbaru helped her up.

“So, yes?”

“So forward! I like it. Sadly, I'm not really looking for a relationship right now.”

“I see.”

*That, wasn't a no?*

“That wasn't a no, tho.”

*Can she read my mind?!?*

“If I ever find myself in a position to be looking for a relationship, I'll hit you up.”

*Oh. Oh!*

“...”

Karen had no response.

They finished the run in silence.

Once they were back in Kanbaru's room, they continued talking.

“I don't really recommend telling your brother about this. I know from firsthand experience that he's, not great about this stuff.”

“That's good to know…”

“If you have more questions, feel free to ask me.”

Karen nodded.

“We should exchange phone numbers, too, to keep in touch.”

*!*

“Sounds like a good plan.”

After that, they continued to make small talk for several hours, and before long, Karen decided it was time to go.

“See you again sometime soon!”

Kanbaru waved as she left.

“Same!”

And then Karen was off.

**Author's Note:**

> was Kanbaru wearing a bra??? questions that will never be answered...


End file.
